“Just move on … Once I’m negative, I will think foolish things. What for? Being positive is very important so that you can do more things and achieve your goals … If I don’t give up, I will fulfill anything that I want”.
Jason Chee, Multiple Para Games Medalist
William Shakespeare said: “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Jason Chee was different, he never sought greatness. Yet, he found greatness from within.
Jason was a regular serviceman in the Republic of Singapore Navy where he served on board the RSS Endeavor, a landing ship tank, responsible for looking after the systems on the ship. He loves his work and with plans to pursue a part-time degree in Mathematics, Jason had his life planned out. However, his life changed on 10 Dec 2012.
Jason was doing his rounds when he was caught between a motorised winch and rope. In the horrendous accident, he lost both his legs and his dominant left arm. Three fingers on his right hand were all that remained of his limbs. Although he survived the accident, his future looked grim.
I was sad when I first read about the accident. Sad, not just because he lost his limbs so gruesomely. But also because that he survived. Like many others, I wondered, which was worse – being dead or being painfully alive. Such injuries would have left anybody traumatised and depressed – giving up on life or questioning why they were dealt such a bad hand. Not Jason. Brought up by his mum to be always positive and calm, he possessed phenomena mental strength. He may have lost his limbs, but he did not lose his spirit. He never allowed himself to focus on his problems or became negative. After winning the fight to survive, he focused on recovering and trained himself to use his right hand.
Within months from being discharged from hospital, Jason took up table tennis and represented Singapore in the 2014 Para ASEAN games which he won Silver and Bronze medal. Despite of this remarkable feat, Jason believed that he could perform better and found strength to train harder, wining more medals at International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF) events and at the 2015 ASEAN Para Games.
However, Jason’s resilience would soon be tested again . In Apr 2017, he started to lose vision in his right eye. Tests revealed the cause was due a cancerous tumor. Thankfully, the cancer was contained within his eye and did not spread further. However, treatment meant removing the eye and causing Jason to be blind in one eye. Still, he remained strong, always focusing on the positives and possibilities.
“Even though so many things happen to me, importantly I still can see what is in front of me. I can see a rainbow, I can see the sun, I can see the moon. I mean, I’m still alive. I cherish every moment.”
Drawing strength from his indomitable spirit and never say die attitude, Jason continue to compete in Table Tennis. Even though losing an eye affected his depth perception and game, he won a gold medal in the 2017 ASEAN Para Games against all odds, beating his arch-rival from the 2015 finals match.
So, how can we be like Jason? Why some people suffer disadvantaged circumstances but find great success. Or why some blessed people amount to nothing? The answer, I believe, lies in our emotions.
Our emotions have a bigger bearing on our lives than we think. We often discard emotions as fleeting or temporary. Holding on the notion that ‘tomorrow will be better’. But unknowingly, these emotions continue to lurk within us, affecting us subconsciously. Many of us also choose to believe that we are rational and discard our emotions as temporal irrationality, choosing to ignore or deny.
However, the world is changing. We can no longer ignore or deny the effects of our emotions on our lives. In the past, before social media and the internet, our emotions were more stable and were triggered less. We were worried about getting a good education and putting food on the table. In contrast, today, we live in a connected world of faster pace, with stress and society triggering our emotions more easily. Older generation never had to worry about how many likes they received on their Facebook or how many followers they have on their Instagram. Unfortunately, most of these emotions today are negative, engulfing us in a depressing state. So to be happy in today’s world, we have to pay closer attention to our emotions and understand how they affect us.
Firstly, our emotions affects our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our decisions, which in turn, affects our actions. Actions over a period of time become habits. When we continue to reinforce habits over time, they become our character. And finally, our character shapes our destiny.
Our first lesson in emotions were when we were learning to walk as child. Our parents cheered every step we took as we associated walking with positive emotions. In our minds we were going: “Oh, walking makes those giants excited and shower me with love and attention, let’s walk more”. Soon, we master the habit of walking!
Conversely, negative emotions put us on a different path. Let’s say you were in charged of a project which you thought you performed fairly well. Instead, your boss did not agree and passed you over for promotion. Obviously, you will not feel good. You will probably feel unappreciated and a deep sense of injustice. Because of these emotions, your thoughts are on the negative portions of the incident – lamenting, ‘my boss is bias, she doesn’t understand my challenges, I can never meet his expectation, I have worked hard for nothing’. You decide to never lead a project under this supervisor again or just put in minimum effort to get by. Finally, this shows up in your work and soon you develop a nonchalant attitude. Obviously, you will remain disengaged throughout your life and that will become your destiny. Of course, you may say that this is an oversimplification. But the effects are obvious.
On the other hand, if you are able to control your emotions – calming yourself down instead of being engulfed in rage – you can positively re-frame the meaning of the incident and focus on positive thoughts. You may think: ‘Maybe I did not consider the requirements of my stakeholders, maybe my preparations were insufficient, maybe I did not communicate clearly with my supervisor’. By re-framing your focus, you can think of actions that empowers you. Like: ‘How can I do better next time’ or ‘what can I learn from this’. You will decide to take actions that help you become better. With positive emotions, thinking and actions, you will build up positive habits and never give in to negativity. Lastly, you develop a character of strength and never-say-die attitude. Paving the path toward sustained success and contentment.
Today, Jason is back in the Navy, continuing to serve the nation in the best way he can. His story is poignant reminder of the power of positive human spirit. We may be down but we can always choose to be positive and optimistic. So, it is clear that being able to control your emotions and not letting your emotions lead you is critical. Fortunately, it is not difficult to master our emotions. In this multiple-part series, I will share tips from Tony Robbins on what affects our emotions and how can we manage them better.
No matter how you are feeling currently, the following parts will benefit you greatly. If you are currently feeling down and will like to change your outlook, you will learn practical tips on mastering your. Even you are already on high spirits, you too, will benefit from learning how to sustain your positive emotion and thinking. So, read on.
Part 2 – Change your body to feel better
Walking on Fire 